I'm Free

I’m not anybody anymore
I’m not stuck to labels like I was before
I ain’t hot and I won’t be cold
I do what I do, not just what I’m told
I don’t like anyone; I love the whole world
My hair isn’t straight and it can’t be curled
I’ll sleep late, stay in bed all day
When asked why, all I’ll have to say
Is: “I’m free.”

Piddly Little Quote
"I will never be the afraid again. I will keep on fighting 'til the end. I can walk on water, I can fly. I will keep on fighting 'til I die!"
-"I Can Walk Walk On Water, I Can Fly" Basshunter

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

Fear of long words.
That's what it means. Can you imagine, actually having a phobia that you couldn't even say because you were simply afraid of it?
How ridiculous.
But I decided to learn how to spell it, as it's so funny.
I also learned how to spell the longest word in the English language: Pneumonoultramicroscopicovolcanoconiosis
Correct me if I'm wrong. It means, according to dictionary.com:
–noun
an obscure term ostensibly referring to a lung disease caused by silica dust, sometimes cited as one of the longest words in the English language.
Coolio, eh?

So Sad (My Life, That Is)

I always seem to read,watch,hear about, or see pictures of people having loads of fun and I just sort of gape longingly, lonely and wistful. Being one of the juice people while everyone in the dairy aisle is having a party with party hats (Brian Regan). Like, on Facebook or wherever, I see pictures of people partying or traveling to Hawaii. I'm all "Goodness, these people have so much fun, and yet they still have time to go get the camera right in the middle of it!" When I'M having a party, I never have a camera around, so I can't prove to myself later that I actually have fun. It's just a wispy distant memory, blown to pieces when I'm drooling at those pictures that are gushing with so much fun that you almost have a little party all by yourself just by looking at them.
Yeah, I don't take any pictures like that. Ever.


Piddly Little Quote
"I'm trying to lay off dairy. I'm in the supermarket with my little cart and I'm trying to avoid the dairy isle. I can see they all have party hats on over there. I'm in the juice isle, slooped over with juice people. Hurgh."
-Brian Regan

"Wuthering Heights" by Emily Bronte

Whew! It was my weekend project and I DID it! Mostly due to the fact that I was grounded, but I DID IT! I haven’t read anything REAL in soooooooooo long. I’m on this Battling Braindead-ness kick, where I work on my grades really hard and attempt to do brain-stimulating things.
So, it was a good book. I liked it. What I hated was that I couldn’t read it fast enough to finish it in one sitting. I hate coming back to a book later; I forget the original feeling that the beginning makes sure that you have and creates a mood for the rest of the book. Plus, I easily forget who people are. That’s one reason why I hated Harry Potter; they’d mention some Death Eater that I guess was important and I was all “Who?”
I stayed up until 3:30 AM reading it, then spent the rest of Sunday on it. The thing was, I expected to like it more than I actually did. Don’t get me wrong; I could read it again which is saying a lot since I hardly ever reread books. But I expected to feel some Great Feeling that I never felt. Sure, it was captivating but, oddly enough, it reminded me a bit of Twilight. Now, don’t give me that face. I read Twilight, yes. And the most poignant part was how utterly confused was Bella’s version of love. Edward and Heathcliff; disturbingly similar characters. What upset me was the Edgar’s love for Catherine was so true and yet it was never treated as such by the narrator. It was made out, in every voice, to be a petty simpering thing that only a weak heart could offer. But he loved her, and loved her in a healthy way which was beyond what you could say about Heathcliff. (A suggestion, if you want to read about true love, read “A Long and Fatal Love Chase” by Louisa May Alcott)
Honestly, I hated Catherine. Cathy was alright, but Catherine and Linton were such manipulative characters that I couldn’t help but hate them both. I believe that Catherine deliberately drove herself insane, and thus to her death, simply because she wanted the world to be as miserable as she believed herself to be. Stupid girl.
Isn’t it peculiar how Heathcliff has no other name? When he had to write down his first and last name did he write “Heathcliff Heathcliff”?
He was a rather complicated character, as there are paragraphs were he seems rather civil, but only because of some selfish or manipulative reason. It appears that, even when just a small boy, he was rather awful. As he grew into a youth he became a brat. When he grew to be a man, he became a monster. Catherine said as much, and yet she stayed by him even until she died. Stupid girl.
I think I cannot stand characters that are overly selfish or overly stupid. Selfish characters never seem to bring anything happy to the story. Not that there NEEDS to always be something happy, but people ought to have SOME redeeming quality to them, and selfish characters never do.
But I’m glad of the happy ending. I had expected it to end horribly, with everyone dead. The majority of the characters died, but it was taken at such a pace and with such a practical voice that one could hardly feel really sad at the end.
I think my favorite person, besides Hareton, was Mr. Lockwood, the “sort of” narrator. Especially at the beginning. He seemed funny and full of himself; one a jolly quality and the other a quality that redeems itself even while it condemns. Nelly wasn’t so bad either, but she seemed to change as the book went on, until she was betraying her mistresses to her masters over and over. It’s a wonder they still trusted her with all that they did.
I could go deeper into Wuthering Heights, but I think many people already have. And besides, I have food waiting for me upstairs to eat. Yummy!

Piddly Little Quote
I absolutely adored Wuthering Heights and fell in love with Heathcliff as most girls do.
-Margaret Forster

Hair

I remember, when I must have been in about 5th or 6th grade, my big sister came home and put my entire family into shock. All my life, she had had the most gorgeous straight blond hair that was her pride and joy. Like Jo March’s hair, but used more as a flirt tool. And then, one day, she came home and it was gone. I remember she stopped in the living room when she saw our stunned expressions, repressed laughter evident on her face.
I had always strived to be like her. Me and her, we were the blonds in the family; the other three sisters were the brunettes. But we were the special ones. And someday I’d hoped to be as beautiful as her. But my hair wasn’t straight, and as I grew older it grew darker. But I still grew it out long. I don’t know if I realized it at the time, but when my big sister cut her hair, it was a giant change in our relationship, even if it didn’t feel like it then.
Well, I’m mentioning this now because my big sister has put our family into shock once more. I sat down at dinner. “Should we tell her?” somebody asked.
“Tell me what?” I inquired, not that I was really curious.
“[You’re sister] shaved her head,” Mom told me. I threw myself back against my chair, astounded.
It’s true! My sister is officially a freak. She’s always enjoyed shocking people, I think. And now she’s going into overload.
So now I ask you (and please comment!). Is it normal for somebody who is now celebrating her 20th birthday to shave her head? And how would you react if your sister shaved her head? And why is it a big deal when girls shave their heads, as opposed to guys? Wait; IS it a big deal for guys to shave their heads? COMMENT!!

Piddly Little Quotes
There's many a man has more hair than wit.
-William Shakespeare

Pimples

One of the most disastrous and diabolical happenings a teenager regularly encounters is acne. And, to make life even MORE unfair, it seems like nobody gets them but me! I don't know about you, but I look at other people and they look so clear. Then I look in the mirror and I see a garden of grossness. It's absolutely retarded, because I put SO much effort into NOT getting acne, and yet I touch my cheek and BANG! I feel it and it is gross. I wash my face CONSTANTLY. I avoid sugar when I can. I sometimes do these random little healthy scrubs. I read somewhere that if you rub potato over your face, it makes it clearer. I also read that if you put banana on your face, it helps it somehow (I don't remember exactly). Once, in a fit of healthiness, I put all my knowledge of healthy at home remedies in a bowl and slopped it on my face. I ended up with oatmeal, banana, potato, egg, olive oil, sunflower seed, and some other stuff I don't remember dripping in giant gross glops all over the place. I smelled like banana-y olive oil. Deeeeeeeeelicious, let me tell you. Not. It was rather disgusting, as I'm sure you can imagine.
Anyways, I just pound make-up on and go throughout my day pretending I'm gorgeous. That's my secret to not living in a hermitage: pretending I'm beautiful. And, as far as I know, it works. I think.

Piddly Little Quote
"Growing up is such a barbarous business, full of inconvenience... and pimples."
-Captain Hook from "Peter Pan"

What's Your Type?

My friend and I have this as a private joke; that I get the tall, dark and handsomes and she gets the yummy blonds. I don't know; just looking into dark eyes, how can you NOT get lost in all that chocolatey darkness? But then green eyes are sooooo amazing, since they're so rare. I don't mean hazel, I mean pure green.
I remember when I was five or something, my best friend and I had this GINORMOUS fight that lasted for days because I said she had green eyes and she INSISTED that she had hazel eyes. I don't remember who backed down first. Probably her.
But anyways!
(OH guess what song I just started listening to!! "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by Kelly Clarkson. hahaha)
I guess I'm not attracted to blue-eyed blonds because I am one. Or was one; my hair is more of a dark blond. I went through this whole "identity crisis" thing with my hair because for a while I didn't know what to call it. I HATED Dirty Dishwater Blond. I wasn't Light Brown. Somebody once said something that sounded pretty, so I adopted it for a while. It was Caramel Sunlight or something like that (I sound like I'm naming off hair dyes!) But then I heard Dark Blond and...it fit.
ANYWAYS!
I like boys with dark curly hair and chocolate brown eyes (NOT light brown eyes. It has to be chocolate.) Preferably tall.
Comment with your own opinion:
Do you like 'em Brunette, Blond or Redheaded?
Curls, Straight hair, or Wavy?
Blue, Brown, Hazel, Pink eyes? etc.

Piddly Little Quote
"Beautiful, beautiful brown eyes
I'll never love blue eyes again."
-The Brothers Four [song]

Technology

I hate computers. But I love what they do for me. I wish that technology would just advance enough that even the most stupid technology-wise people would be able to do whatever they want without it blowing up in their faces (literally).
For example, the template thingy on the blogs. It says something about entering in something for something...yeah, I have no idea what that even means. I really don't get it. I just click buttons and hope things work out and don't explode.

I found this funny site called Computer Stupidites (because I was mad and typed in "stupid computers" in Google)
This is the url: http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

Piddly Little Quotes
"Many people have called to ask where the "any" key is on their keyboards when the "Press Any Key" message is displayed."

"One user told me he couldn't find the 'OK' button on his keyboard."
-http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_keyboards.shtml

Dating

Alright. So I have a question for ya. Please comment.
If your parents say "Don't date until you're 16" what counts as "dating"?
So many people have different ideas of what "going out" means. To some, when you see people holding hands and just liking each other, THAT'S dating. But others think of it as actually GOING OUT to a movie or dinner or something like unto it.
I really don't get it at all. I like the idea of dating being something you can just go do with a friend, like going to go fly kites and then eating Subway sandwiches as a picnic (a cute idea that I just heard today. I wanted to write it down, and now I have!) but you don't have to be in total LIKE with that particular friend. They're just a girl/guy that you get along with or would like to know better. But if, for you, the term "dating" means something way more romantic or something totally different, then please comment with your own personal definition.

Piddly Little Quote
Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.
-Curtis Judalet

Sadie Hawkins

Okay, I was wondering, so I did some research.
"Sadie Hawkins" originated, believe it or not, from a comic strip called Li'l Abner by Al Capp. Sadie Hawkins was kinda ugly and her dad was scared that she would never get married, so he declared a Sadie Hawkins Day, where the old maids would run after bachelors. So the comic became famous and colleges all over adopted it. High schools too. So now we have a day where girls ask the guys instead of the traditional way. Nationally, Sadie Hawkins ended up being in November.
I like the idea of Sadie Hawkins because then every girl that WANTS date can get one (unless the guy says no. Hopefully not!).
-http://www.lil-abner.com/sadiehawk.html

Procrastination

Probably my greatest enemy is myself. I am the only one who stops myself from succeeding. And sadly, my enemy is always very successful in keeping me from doing the things I most want to do.
Procrastination not only is my greatest crime, but it is also my greatest regret. The worst part is that I've suffered so much because of it, and yet it is a habit that I just can't break. I actually caught myself thinking today: "I'll work on procrastinating... on Monday."
I just wish that I could be two different people. One person to do the hard stuff and the other person to relax whenever I want to. But...I suppose that wouldn't work, as the hard worker person would want to relax SOME time. And the lazy person would be unhappy with no purpose. UGH! So I guess I should just be one person and do what I'm supposed to when I'm supposed to and relax when I can. Bleh.

Piddly Little Quote
"Why should I have to WORK for everything?! It's like saying I don't deserve it!"
-Calvin "Calvin and Hobbes"

My Playlist

Right now I'm listening to "Video" by India Arie. I highly suggest it as it reminds me that I don't have to be perfect or anything.

"When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it’s suppose to be
And I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my Lips, my eyes, I’m loving what I see."

I think most everyone needs a reminder like that. I mean, reminders like those from friends, family, church and books and such get pushed at me all the time, but every once in a while, in a song or from somebody that I really trust, I actually HEAR the reminder.

Piddly Little Quote
It is easier to go down a hill than up, but the view is from the top.
-Arnold Bennett

Crap

My blog is crap.
I'm going to try to totally redo it.
Sorry, Mrs. B if this isn't allowed.
I'm sick of looking at my blog in comparison to everyone else's and feeling like a loser with a loser blog (and then feeling like a loser for caring so much XP )
So. Here goes.

Grounded

I don't know what to do with my blog anymore. I guess I'll just do whatever I feel at the moment with the occasional poem. Sound good?
So, right now I'm grounded. I'm actually enjoying it. I had so many plans for this weekend and now I'm stuck at home doing homework and sleeping. It's awesome! I haven't had any time to do ANYTHING for quite a while, it seems like. So now, because I can't talk on the phone, go on facebook, watch movies, or hang out with friends, I just do what I want to do. It sounds odd, right? But right now, instead of doing what I would just naturally do - which would usually involve doing something that I would later feel was a total waste of time - I get to do things I NEED to do, such as homework, sleep (I went to bed around 7 yesterday because I was so tired and slept until 8 this morning. THEN I took a nap from 1-3. It was deeeeeeeeeeeeelicous) and read.
So now I'm considering getting myself grounded every weekend, so I'll have some Me-time. But, I know I couldn't really do that. Alas.
I wish I could just totally redo this whole blog to something I'd actually want to READ, but I don't have the time nor motivation to actually do it. I also don't ever have anything interesting to say. Nothing interesting that I'd actually want to say HERE, at least.